i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
