oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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