i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
