She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
