If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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