I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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