I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
