It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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