Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
