hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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