KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
