I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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