when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
