I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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