Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Randomize
