I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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