I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
