So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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