Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Randomize