my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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