Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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