I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
