There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
