Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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