Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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