You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
