im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
3 2 1 whiskey
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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