i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
