its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
