I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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