I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
