He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize