I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
