im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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