She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
