i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
