The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
