He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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