Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
