i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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