____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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