I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
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at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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