Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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