I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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