Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
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there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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