ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize