Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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