Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
