Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
