I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
