Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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