1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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