your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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