There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
