Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
