I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
