I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
