How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
