Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
