I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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