you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I deserve this hangover.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
